"Into ash"
I find that I express myself best through the gift God has given me and that is artwork. Now I know this piece may appear to be dark but it isn't really so. As I was praying and listening to God, I got this scripture in Leviticus 1 and the beginning is all about sacrifice. I know there are many things I must die to right now and God has really reminded me of these tonight. I was reminded of how I really need to put my faith in God more and stop worrying so much about how I want things to go and how my plans are going to go. I need to depend on God's timing. Right now God is really stretching my faith and really teaching me discipline.
The meaning to my art:
The Cross:
The cross stands for something that I need to bear in my life all the time throughout every situation of my life. Also it stands for me seeing Jesus in every person and thing I come across.
The Bull:
The sacrifices of which I have to lay down and will lay down in the future.
The Fire:
God who will consume all like a fire.
It is true, I really do want God to consume my life completely. That is why I feel led to go into YWAM to continue to develop my skills as a person. As I have said in my video on here I really want to be that example for other people and develop faith in God and my ability to lead people in Him. Most of all though I want to develop myself for the kingdom of God. I have been doing mission work all of my life and I never feel like I can get enough of God and what he has next to do in me and through me. Each time I feel so surprised by what he has given me or how he has come through. It is very humbling! I have not really shared this through the internet, on a blog or anywhere, but there are many examples of when God came through for me.
As some people know I grew up with it being just me and my mother. When I was younger we moved quite a bit from here and there up until I was 5 years old. At the age of 5 my mother decided that she wanted to do her Discipleship Training School in Youth with a Mission. So I grew up mostly on a YWAM base and was constantly surrounded by God. Many times though I felt this aching in my heart for my father not really being in my life. I did really enjoy the times when I did get to see my biological father, but truthfully I never really considered him my father. I saw God more as a father figure for me.
Another time God came through for me is when my mom got pregnant with one of my brothers. That was a very hard time for me personally because I honestly only knew so little about the whole situation that was going on around me. My mom was struggling with a lot of issues with the father. During that time I had never seen my mom so heartbroken in my life and to see my mom in any pain hurts me too, so seeing her like that really took a toll on me. I would end up crying in my bed a night asking him to help my mom. Often I would ask God why these things would be happening and needed to find comfort in something. So I found it in God when I needed him most.
My most recent time God has come through for me is on my DTS. It was a week or so (give or take some). It was the deadline for my outreach fee's and I need a good bit of them. I was very worried about it and was feeling a lot of stress about the whole situation. I was sitting down in the lounge one night and was praying and praying for God to come through for me. I was really feeling the pressure. As the time grew closer and closer my leader came up to me and said that someone paid the rest of my fee's for my outreach. It was such an amazing feeling to have to know God had come through for me once again. Words cannot express how happy I was that day. From now on I will not forget my DTS and all the amazing things God had done through that.
Right now with my last two weeks coming on I am praying for God to come through once again like he has for me so many times. I am putting all my faith in God to pull me through this.I am really starting to feel the pressure of the two weeks that I have left here before I head off to Switzerland on this journey next journey I feel God has called me to. I need currently 3,000 more dollars until I am at my goal. I am already thanking God for what he is going to give me and what plans he has for my life. Would you please prayerfully consider if He would have you be a part?
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